Why your business socials need more than just pretty pictures

I just want you to know that no matter what anyone says, you will always be our first dad. Hide your diamonds, hide your exes, I’m a little bit Alexis! Oh, I’d kill for a good coma right now. Like Beyoncé, I excel as a solo artist. If you’re looking for an ass to kiss, it’s mine. This place is almost charming. Very rustic cottage… I was half expecting early Unabomber.

OK, yeah, no, I did not write this… OK, like, I didn’t even choose this font! It’s horrible. What kind of barnyard were you raised in? I don’t want to brag, but Us Weekly once described me as ‘up for anything.' The idea of me life coaching another human being should scare you… a lot. I totally get that. We just need a body. Then go to the morgue.

Well, this town is very screamnastic. Very uninterested in that opinion. I was casually seeing Prince Harry, so there was the whole, like, ‘Is she gonna be a princess’ thing… um, but it’s also because we were going through this very dark phase where we were just, like, partying too hard. Never let the bastards get you down! You’d think there’d be more of a market for oversized paintings of other people’s families.